Force Lightning


I don’t think I can stress enough that I’m not a sociopath. I really want to get that fact across to all my readers, because I think that I’m mentally sound, and there’s no reason that I should have been missing recess in 3rd grade, to talk to the school guidance counselor. It’s just that there are very satisfying things in this world that some might consider to be mildly unethical, but I would contend that those people just haven’t experienced the thrill of absolute power. Instead these naysayers spend their time telling children that perhaps they shouldn’t be so destructive, and deprive them of recess fun, further fanning the flames of madness.


I’m of course referring to Force Lightning from the Star Wars series! Could there possibly be anything more rewarding than electrocuting your foes into submission, to the point they beg for an end to their suffering? I’ll once again remind you, that I don’t have any sociopathic tendencies, as documented by a state psychiatrist working under court order. Force Lightning is an application of the Dark Side of the Force, but in standard Star Wars canon, it’s a mysterious ability, only used by powerful Sith, such as the Emperor himself. In the expanded universe, there are many characters that use the ability and even Luke Skywalker himself uses a variation of the power.


While the movies tend to keep things obscured behind a veil of mystery, even the expanded universe only describes the ability as being something that a force wielder creates out of thin air, essentially transforming the Force itself into pure electrical energy. When you consider how incredibly powerful lightning is, and how much damage it can do, it becomes amazing to think of Sith turning the Force into one of the most destructive forces of nature. The power of the Force is intriguing anyway, the ability to choke people, throw things at others, dominate their minds, and choke people. I’d like to once again stress the fact that I’m completely sane, as documented by a judge from Wayne County .


Various video games, as well as table top role playing games use lightning as a special ability, from calling down lightning to strike enemies, or to even generate electricity directly into a foe. Even Kirby from Nintendo can absorb electric foes to gain the power to shock others. Despite the fact that so many other sources of entertainment depict lightning as a special attack, what makes Force Lightning from Star Wars so much more satisfying? I'd wager it's the visceral feeling of satisfaction you get from making someone else suffer, watching them writhe around on the ground, begging for an end to the pain, much as Luke Skywalker did against the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. I'll also point out that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in control, and it's a completely healthy desire.


Despite a multitude of lawsuits against me, not a single lawyer in the state of Michigan has been able to prove that I'm insane, and thus I continue to walk a free man in the streets of Detroit. Oh, and also Force Lightning is tons of fun. You can hear more of my thoughts on Star Wars in the Legend of Retro episode where we cover Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for X-Box.

Craig Karfis