Why the Nintendo Direct was Great (and GameZilla Alpha was Wrong)
For those of you who listened to the GameZilla Alpha episode that uploaded yesterday (or early access on Patreon) you already know that Nintendo is doomed and the future is as bleak as it was during the Wii U down spiral.
This Alpha episode was an answer to the question, “what happens when you put two Sony fanboys in a room to discuss a Nintendo Direct?”
“Oh, no! Nintendo! What happened?! Things were so good, and now everything is falling apart! What are you going to do about 2019? It’s time to go third-party.”
If you were watching our reactions live on Twitch you would know that, while the Nintendo Direct didn’t have much for me, it wasn’t a bad direct, considering there is a difference between “there’s nothing in it for me” and “the sky is falling, RIP Nintendo”.
Let’s take a look of what the Nintendo Direct actually had to share:
Now, let’s break it down a little:
Getting 3DS nonsense out of the way first, Kirby’s Epic Yarn ported from the Wii is a nice edition to the 3DS library. The Bower Jr.’s Journey DLC to whatever Mario & Luigi game nobody placed is also neat. The GameCube port of Luigi’s Mansion has a neat little co-op mode. Finally, nobody is going to play Yo-Kai Watch Blasters.
Good, great, time to let the 3DS die already.
Anywho, the Nintendo Switch had a few more things to discuss.
Luigi’s Mansion: Ghost bustin’ as our favorite mustachioed man is looking better then ever... in 2019.
Splatoon 2 Ver. 4: There’s some new stuff but I don’t read octoling. Does it matter, since it’s free content and balancing? Destiny 2 could take a page from this book.
Mega Man 11: One of the bigger wastes of time, the demo has been out and it’s a trash series, but I’m sure Capcom paid for this time slot.
Mario Tennis Aces content update: Birdo! Shy Guy! Others! 10/10
Capcom Beat ‘Em Up Bundle: More like 7 great couch co-op games that take us back to our youth. Thanks, Capcom! More of this, less Mega Man.
New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe: Another charming Wii U game getting new life on the much more popular newer console. I’d have preferred Super Mario Maker, but I’ll take it happily!
Katamari Damacy REROLL: Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’. Now you know I be loving this sh!t right here! K-A-T-A Mari is right here. People in the house put your hands in the air!
Diablo III - Eternal Collection: We’ve got a launch date of 11/2 and it’s looking very smooth. Almost too smooth.
Super Mario Party: I can’t wait for someone else to buy this so I can play with friends.
”Town”: Game Freak coming at us with a new RPG that’s not Pokemon. I’m excited. Looks good. Can’t wait to find out more.
Cities - Skylines: Trashy mobile bloatware looking game that probably runs awful. However, at this point I had to pee so I’m glad it gave me a break.
Daemon X Machina: Looking like a Anthem mixed with Titanfall and it’ll be better than both of them combined. Good job, developer!
Yoshi’s Crafted World: A cute platformer that I won’t buy, but definitely has a place on this system.
Asmodee Digial Board Games: I had to pee again. Thanks for the spacers, Nintendo!
Sid Meier’s Civilization VI: I’ll be excited to play this as long as the controls are well done. Any RTS on controller can go either way quickly simply based off of the control scheme.
Starlink - Battle for Atlas: I’m assuming this is a $60 playable demo of the next Star Fox game that we get on 10/16. I wish I could just have the Star Fox content without the rest of it all, but Ubisoft has shown they can do the IP justice, so let them have it.
The World Ends With You - Final Remix: Yep.
Xenoblade Chronicles 2 - Torna ~ The Golden Country: It’s out now, but I’ve never had a DLC I want to play just as bad as I don’t want to play. They’ll get my money eventually, but god knows when.
We got release dates for a variety of games for 2018 - Warframe, Just Dance 2019, FIFA19, Team Sonic Racing, NBA2K19, NBA2K Playgrounds 2, LEGO DC Super Villians.
Square came out HUGE with a whole basket full of Final Fantasy games: Crystal Chronicles, XV Pocket Edition, World of Final Fantasy Maxima, Chocobo Mystery Dungeon, XII: The Zodiac Age, VII, IX, X/X-2. From PS1, to GameCube remasters, and some scaled down current gen games, Square has a plethora of titles hitting the switch between now and the end of 2019.
But, man.... there’s not much here, right?
Oh! Did you think I forgot Nintendo Switch Online? Nope!
Some people were disappointed that we didn’t out more, but I truly believe that’s self inflicted hype. Nintendo has had a site up for weeks advertising online play, NES games, cloud saves, smartphone app, and special offers.
And what did they say Nintendo Switch Online consisted of?
Online play. NES games. Cloud saves. Smartphone app. Special offers (sort of).
I’ve been saying all this time that WE ALREADY KNOW 90% OF WHAT NINTENDO ONLINE WAS so where was I when this segment ended? Slightly disappointed they didn’t cover what the ‘special offers’ were but overall smugly satisfied that I didn’t get on this specific hype train.
Did we get any hardware? Absolutely!
Switch NES Controllers: $60 and good for NES games that charge on the Joy Con rails. Give me 2.
Pokemon Let’s Go bundle: Exclusive color Joy Con with a custom dock and console backing. I’ll take 1.
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate bundle: Two white lines on a gray Joy Con and a decal on the dock. I’ll, also, take 1.
Isabell in Smash? What are you complaining about? Did everyone what another anime-like sword boy for the game? Kudos to Nintendo for taking a more obscure route!
Animal Crossing in 2019 - This may not be for you, but for each person that is groaning that this big reveal wasn’t exciting, there’s another person losing their damn mind that Animal Crossing is getting a new game on the Nintendo Switch. You have to admit that this reveal is a very big deal, even if you’re not buying.
Oh no, that’s it? 2019 is doomed. There’s no way Nintendo can have any successful year since they put all their good games in year 1.
Wait, let’s take a look at what Nintendo has in store for 2019...
No More Heroes, Super Mario Bros. U, Yoshi's Crafted World, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Daemon X Machina, Luigi's Mansion 3, Animal Crossing, "Town", a real Pokemon game... and maybe Shin Megami Tensei V, Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4... (and I’m sure I missed some)
Let's just call Nintendo and tell them to scrap the Switch like they did the Wii U.. it's all over from here.
In conclusion, next time you old men want to discuss Nintendo, make sure someone who actually knows what they’re talking about is in the room. Until next time, go back to playing Destiny 2.
But for the rest of you — Game On!